For many people this summer marks the return of family picnics, vacations and reunions. Some of us will be seeing relatives for the first time in well over a year. It’s an exciting time, but (let’s face it) getting reacquainted with the extended family can also mean a lot of stress.
Why stress? Because no matter whose family you are with, someone will have to deal with the in-laws!
It is true that when you marry someone, you are marrying a family as well. We are told in the Bible to honor our father and our mother (Exodus 20:12), and that responsibility should extend to our in-laws as well. The story of Ruth is the most dramatic example of this kind of honor. Ruth’s relationship with her mother-in-law Naomi is perhaps best exemplified by Ruth 1:16, where she says “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people shall be my people and your God my God”.
We need to keep in mind that our “job” is to love our spouse, raise and care for our children, and honor our parents. But what if your relationship with your in-laws doesn’t quite measure up to Ruth’s (or, let’s be honest, even come close)? Allow me to share a couple of thoughts that may help.
Maintain a sense of humor. So your spouse’s family does some things “differently”. Whose doesn’t? Rather than becoming aggravated at the quirks and idiosyncrasies of your in-laws, choose to have a positive attitude about it. Remember, your spouse probably finds some things about your family strange too!
One of the things that we probably don’t think about enough is that getting together with our in-laws may be stressful for them. They want us to accept them as family as well! If we are in a bad frame of mind at a get-together it will show, which is only going to heighten the tension. Smile…laugh….relax. It will do wonders for your relationship.
Take what they have to offer. In thinking about your in-laws, ask yourself these questions:
- “What are their gifts?”
- “Do they have wisdom?”
- “Do they do something well?”
- “Do they have a unique talent they could teach us?”
God has placed these people in our lives for a reason – there is probably something we can learn from them. Sometimes our own pride gets in the way (I, for example, HATE to ask for anyone’s help, let alone my in-laws!), sometimes we feel inadequate in asking, and sometimes we just don’t consider our in-laws as potential sources of help.
I’m not a father-in-law, but I imagine that our in-laws would love it if we asked for their help with something from time to time. It shows that we value their skills, and their role in our lives.
Care for them. How you might do this will vary greatly depending on your circumstances. It might mean taking them a meal when they are sick or doing a chore around the house if they aren’t physically up to it. It might mean going with them on some errands or getting them a “just because” gift. It might mean taking them into your home for a short or extended time. Giving care is one of the more meaningful ways to show our love, honor, and respect. It can also be one of the costliest.
All of us will reach a season of life where we are parenting our parents and in-laws. When you are at that stage, communicate clearly with your extended family as you make decisions about your aging parents and in-laws. Working together to solve problems could become an opportunity for brothers and sisters to deepen their friendships.
God doesn’t call for us to become like Ruth in regard to her actions, but he does call for us to emulate her in regard to her attitude. If nothing else is helping when it comes to our in-laws, remember that by serving them we are also serving God.
Here’s what’s happening:
- This Saturday the Junior Youth are gathering at the church at 10 am to go canvas some of the local neighborhoods with invitations to come to VBS. They’ll then come back to the church for lunch and spend some time doing some work in the church cemetery. Adult help would be welcomed, especially for the afternoon work. Please let Elizabeth and Gary Barrett or Tracy Alexander know if you can help.
- This Sunday from 9:9-30am I will be giving a congregational update. Although the main part of our time will be discussing the facility projects that I have been alluding to for some time now, we will also give some financial and ministry updates and go over the progress on our ministry goals for 2023.
- We will be having a time of coffee and fellowship starting at 9:30 am each Sunday in July and August! There is a sign-up sheet by the front door if you would like to provide a light breakfast snack for folks to enjoy.
- This Sunday is also the last Sunday to sign up for Bridge Night at the Lancaster Barnstormers on 8/12.
- VBS Week is 7/24 – 7/28 from 6:30 – 8:30 pm each night. Help is needed! See Elizabeth Barrett for how you can be a part of the fun!
In Mark 11:24 Jesus says “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Like studying our Bible, we know that we should be praying. For many of us, however, our prayer life can be a struggle because it feels like we pray and pray for things that never happen. On Sunday we’ll look at what prayer is, why we should do it, why we struggle so much, and what “outside of the box” strategies may help us have the vibrant prayer life that God desires for us!