As we have been talking about the relationships with the family in our sermon series I’ve been repeatedly saying that these principles for the home apply to many of our relationships. We all have people in our lives besides our parents who made a huge impact on us. And for many people (including me), that includes their uncles. Some of those men are uncles by blood (like my Uncle Blake and my Uncle Craig) and some of those are spiritual uncles by choice (like my Uncle Dean).
Although the Bible doesn’t have a chapter that speaks directly to the roles of uncles (and aunts – everything I’m writing applies to aunts), it is full of examples that show us how God intends for those relationships to work. This is perhaps most clearly shown in the life of Abraham and Lot. Peter describes Lot as a “righteous” man in 2 Peter 2:7 which means that he trusted in the promises of God. Undoubtedly, he learned to trust God growing up under the wing of his uncle and mentor, Abraham.
Lot’s story in the Bible, however, is really a lesson on what happens when someone (even a righteous person) makes poor choices and gets to0 close to sinful environments. So much of what the Bible tells us about Lot really involves Abraham watching out for him. When God called Abraham to begin his journey, Lot went with him (Genesis 12:5). When their flocks had gotten too big for them to stay together, Abraham let Lot choose the lush land of the Jordan plain (Genesis 12:9) When Lot was caught in the middle of a war and taken captive, Abraham rescued him (Genesis 14:16). When God threatened to destroy Lot’s hometown of Sodom, Abraham pleaded for God to be merciful (Genesis 18:16-33). When we look at the story of Abraham and Lot, it seems clear to me that God wants uncles (and aunts) to be involved in the lives of our nieces and nephews whenever possible.
So, what should a good uncle do? I have over 25 nieces and nephews (a number that is growing rapidly because the older ones are starting to get married), so in considering this question I thought about my relationships with my uncles and what they did for me growing up.
- Pray: I know, I know, praying is always first on these kinds of lists. There’s a good reason for that – prayer works!
- Listen: The most important part of being a good role model and having a good relationship with children is to listen to them. That means paying attention to what they are saying. Give them your undivided attention and talk to them about what is important to them. Actively listen and respond to them truthfully.
- Spend Time Together: Money is a poor substitute for time. Gifts are nice but they cannot replace time spent together. Instead of buying a gift, take them to lunch, to the park, or to a movie. Join them in activities that they enjoy such as a game or listening to music.
- Be Supportive: Support them in their pursuits and activities as much as you can. If your niece sings in a choir, be there in the audience to cheer her on. If your nephew plays sports, go to some of his games. Celebrate with them and tell them how proud you are of them.
- Share your Expertise: Teach them something you do well. Cook together, do a craft, make a paper airplane, sing or dance, paint a picture or work on a model. Do something together that you both enjoy.
- Make Sure They Know How You Feel About Them: Tell them that you love them, care about them, are proud of them, like them, and enjoy their company. Tell the truth and tell it often.
- Model Christian Living: Kids will often view us aunts and uncles as “cool” in comparison to their parents. That’s OK, but we need to realize what kind of influence that means we have on them. Live a life of integrity and one that is devoted to God. Demonstrate faithful living. Talk to them about your faith and what it means to you. It will have (and I’m speaking from personal experience here) a tremendous impact on your nieces and nephews.
- Never Undermine Parental Authority: Yes, you love them and you want them to be happy. No, you are not their parent. Dangerous activity needs to be reported to their parentsand decision making should always be up to the parent. Respecting their parents’ decisions will reinforce family solidarity. Defer to the decisions of the parents, and never complain or challenge those choices in front of the children.
Remember…our relationship with someone is infinitely more important than our relation to them. There are tons of kids out there just dying to have someone become their spiritual uncle or aunt.
I have to admit, I get a real kick out of being called “Uncle Scott.” It is a title of both respect and affection. It is a blessing to be an uncle or an aunt, so let’s make sure we are a blessing to our nieces and nephews.
Here’s what’s happening:
- We will be receiving new members during the worship service on Sunday.
- Junior Youth have their end-of-the-school-year cookout celebration at the church on Saturday, 6/17 from 6-9 pm. Please note the new date.
- I will be on vacation from Friday, June 23 through Friday, June 30. Please see an elder if a need arises that week.
- Men’s Breakfast at Hometown Kitchen on Saturday, June 24 at 8 am.
- Please help yourself to any of the books, videos and materials that are in the library. We plan to donate whatever is left at the end of the month and repurpose that space. The books for young children and some of the teaching materials are going to be kept to use in ministry.
This week we are going to be looking at what Paul has to say about our work in Colossians 3:22-4:1. Because Paul gives his instruction in the context of slaves and masters, this passage (along with several others) is often used to discredit the Scriptures. We’ll be discussing what the Bible actually says about slavery and how the principles that Paul gives us still apply to our work today (whether its our profession, our volunteering, or our work around the home). Invite a friend (or a coworker!) to join us at the Bridge on Sunday!